Gods All Bless, Has the World Run Mad?
by Wildmage of Emelan
Summary: Just an odd little oneshot that suddenly popped into my head one evening. Featuring Daine, Numair, Jon, Thayet, Kel, Dom, Neal, Raoul, The Great Mother, The Graveyard Hag, Tobe, and Kitten, all run mad! Read to find out.


Veralidaine Sarrasri walked through the halls of the royal palace in Corus humming happily, heading towards the rooms she shared with her husband, Numair Salmalin, after thrashing Rider trainees for a day. It was so much fun to be able to out ride them, out shoot them, and then have their mounts dump them if they were too uppity!

She froze, what was she thinking?!?! Putting it down to exhaustion, she entered her rooms. There she found Numair alternately throwing his books into the fireplace and having a tickling match against the Badger, who was somehow giggling like a little girl despite his animal vocal chords.

Her mouth dropped open in horror. Her mental thought processes ended, including her subconscious use of her magic to tell animals she was part People and not just another stupid two-legger. A hungry fly, not feeling her thoughts, thought her mouth was a trashcan, full of waste food, and fluttered in. Numair happened to look up right at that moment.

"Sweet, a fly just flew in your mouth." Daine stared at him a moment longer before his words registered in her numb mind. Then she closed her mouth. Choking on the insect, she began shapechanging over and over again.

Numair somehow managed to keel over laughing while already on the floor at the sight of his wife turning into an owl with frog feet and duck wings, then a snake with a lion's head and a horse's legs. The badger took advantage of this and began tickling him again, which started him hyperventilating with laughter.

Jon ran in blindfolded, and tripped over Daine, who had changed from mouse to large dog while only one of his feet was over her. Thayet ran in behind him with a papercut, wailing for Alanna.

Hearing the queen's screams,Alanna came running in with beef sauce smeared all around her mouth from dinner, sword unsheathed. She tripped over the now-unconscious-from-hyperventilation Numair and accidentally stabbed the Badger, who as screamed like a little girl before vanishing to go tell the Great Mother that Alanna was being mean.

Neal came in wearing a frilly pink tutu and dancing to Raoul's singing an opera song about how glorious a knight's life was. Everyone else in the room tried to simultaneously cover their eyes and ears, forever scarred for life by the joint horror.

Kel ran in behind Tobe with her glaive, attempting to castrate the boy for shapechanging into a horse and breaking down the door to the women's bathhouse to stare at naked ladies. She tripped over Jon and fell on top of Numair, her lips pressing to his. A naked Daine who had been saved from the fly by Alanna happened to see this and leaped at Kel, beginning a catfight between the two of them.

Then the Great Mother came in cuddling the badger and began slapping Alanna, followed closely by Dom, who stumbled in while kissing Graveyard Hag. The Hag smirked at the look on Kel's face before beginning to unbutton Dom's shirt. Kel leaped at the Hag, which gave Daine the opportunity to turn into a wildcat and begin clawing the lady knight's back.

Numair was awake by this time, and had begun waltzing with Neal as Raoul continued singing. That was when Kel's old maid Lalasa came running into the room yelling for Kel to come for a fitting, then stopped in her tracks at the sight before her.

Jon had caught Kitten slinking into the room and was hugging her, telling her what a cute little dragon she was and rubbing her scales over his face and kissing her, with her trying to claw him to no avail. The Graveyard Hag had frozen Kel midair in her leap and was still kissing Dom, while Daine was shredding the helpless woman's back. Raoul was singing 'Apples and Bananas', with Numair and Neal dancing to his horrible opera. Thayet was sobbing and wailing in pain over a papercut on her finger, and Alanna was being slapped across the face by the Great Mother Goddess with the Badger gloating.

"_Gods all bless, has the world run mad?!" _


End file.
